Monday, January 21, 2013

My Virtual Kitchen Table

I wish I could invite you over for coffee, but many of the people I love live far away. So virtual coffee it is and this morning I'm serving Starbuck's Casi Cielo - almost heaven. It's my favorite. What to expect on this new blog? My opinions on books and maybe a bit of pragmatic politics. I'll share some recipes if it moves me, but mainly, I want to talk about families. And experience. I've earned that.

Like my friends, my family is scattered. So was the one I grew up with - back in the day - but I could count on my mom to show up if I needed her and to always put on a cup of coffee and dish up an opinion - even if it was just with a look. Now I'm in that position, and it occurs to me that there are many things I haven't said. Some of them never came up. Some seemed obvious. But now, I want to share.  I'm hoping this blog will be funny and helpful and a little crazy. Come back often to see if I'm successful. For now, pour yourself a cup of coffee. Here goes.

I have a newborn granddaughter. She's got big eyes and is learning to smile. I'm reminded again, that our children aren't born as blank slates. I believe they come preloaded with their own personalities and maybe with their own trajectory in this world. But they are master observers. They learn day by day from their caretakers. They learn to sleep, smile, babble. And that continues every month and year. You may not yet believe it, but kids see you, listen to you, and will pattern so much after you, the people who literally care for them. They want to be like you. So at the risk of being a bit preachy, I'll sum up where we're going -

Do you want your child to be respectful? Respect your partner, your friends, your family. Want her to be a reader? Don't just read to her. Be a reader yourself. Want your child to have a good vocabulary? It's not about flash cards. Talk to him, not at him.  Have a conversation - yes, with your two or three or four year old. Want him to be healthy? Eat healthy and be active. Take care of yourself. Want her to have high self esteem? Take time for yourself. Everyday. Model, model, model. That's the secret to teaching and to guiding your child.

5 comments:

  1. This is so lovely. I am having espresso right now...I'll turn it into an Americano shortly...then by the afternoon a vanilla Latte.

    I shall see you here often Suzy!

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  2. Everything you said points toward grabbing those teachable moments. Once saw a mother on the cell phone at My Favorite Muffin, brush away her toddler like a fly when he pointed to a newspaper story and asked "What's that say? Mama, what's happening? Read that to me." Don't know if the story was happy or frightening, but it was important to him and she missed it.

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  3. I'm looking forward to reading more of this blog. We view the world in much the same way.

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  4. I am happy to have visited with you over a cup of coffee at your kitchen table, Suzy! Great post and so true!

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  5. Suzy, I love this blog. Parents often don't get that there are many silent messages being sent all the time. It's very confusing for kids if the spoken messages and the silent messages don't match up. That's called hypocrisy. Strive for integrity, where the unspoken and the spoken are the same.

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